Burn-out is not just for overworked employees who can no longer stand their working conditions. We are talking here about another kind of burn-out, the maternal burn-out. Burn-out is a state of physical, but above all, psychological exhaustion. It can happen to anyone, but certain life events can make it happen. The birth of twins is one such event. Together we will look at the extent to which mothers can become burnt out, how to recognise the signs and avoid sinking, but above all, how to get out of it when you are affected.
Recognising the signs
Burnout is much more than just being tired. Nevertheless, it can be an early warning sign. If you are exhausted, particularly irascible and have no patience with your babies, this is a sign that you are slowly slipping into a state of exhaustion. If the symptoms persist in spite of you, it is high time to act. This can be seen in increased sensitivity to noise, major mood swings and also a gradual loss of your zest for life. Having twins, despite the fatigue involved, is normally a happy event. If you are not fulfilling your role as a mother, or no longer do so, you should start worrying about the situation as soon as possible.
Dare to talk about it
When we get lost in a somewhat uncontrollable emotional state, we still have the ability to notice. If you notice an unusual state that lasts for a long time and affects your relationships with others, don’t keep it to yourself. It’s important to talk about it and not just sit in the corner and struggle with these ailments that you can no longer control. Most mothers who suffer from burn-out feel a great deal of guilt and often label themselves as bad mothers. Of course there are extreme cases of burn-out involving real abuse. However, this is episodic and in the majority of cases, mothers are simply at the end of their tether and unable to deal with their emotions. This does not mean that you are abandoning your maternal duties or that you are unable to deal with the situation in normal circumstances. You simply need to take a break, rest and find the serenity that will allow you to keep up with the pace imposed by the birth of twins.
There are more parents than you think who have been victims of burn-out. There are associations that can help you, where you can talk to other parents who have experienced or are experiencing the same thing. As with all ailments, knowing that others are going through similar episodes and, above all, that they have come out of them can only help you, on the one hand, to put your situation into perspective, to ease your guilt and, on the other hand, to boost you out of this state of crisis.
We cannot recommend enough that you also contact health professionals who can direct you to suitable structures, such as the CMP (Centres Médico Psychologiques). We are not talking about dementia here, but about exhaustion, and there is no shame in needing or accepting help. On the contrary, putting words to your ailments can only help you to open your eyes to the situation and to take the necessary steps to regain your joy of living. You have everything to gain by taking action rather than suffering the situation.
It is also possible that you will be confronted with the incomprehension of those close to you. This can happen, because burn-out is an emotional state that can be difficult to understand, even for those around us on a daily basis. On the other hand, if you are in an advanced state of crisis, it is better to contact a seasoned professional who will know exactly how to help you. Whatever the case, don’t be discouraged, seek help in other ways and trust yourself!