But why is he having a fit?
Why doesn’t she listen to me?
Too often the answers to these questions are so numerous that it is impossible to answer them.
Is it really necessary to always know why?
“Why’ implies a notion of responsibility, of guilt… This form of questioning does not lead to a resolution but rather to a “brainstorming” to find out the reasons, the origin…
So if it is useful to understand why our children act in certain ways, for all those moments when you don’t have time to answer them (going to school, bedtime, bath time…) I suggest you use the How?
How can I get out of this crisis?
How can I get him to listen?
With this type of formulation, you can get the ball rolling again!
You will be able to implement different strategies and no longer “drown” in the flood of guilt-inducing questions!
It’s only a start, of course, but it’s the best way I know of to become the “actor” of the solution again.