Whether the announcement of your partner’s maternity is a surprise, whether it is the culmination of a long road, whether you are adopting, whether you are a straight or gay couple, the moment has arrived: you are going to be a father in a few months!
You have a lot of questions? It’s normal, you’re going to take on a new status, discover new responsibilities, and all this love that’s coming, as much to give as to receive! So let’s stop for a moment and take stock, catch our breath and list the few thoughts that seem to be priorities.
Prepare yourself for a new happiness
There are anxieties, questions, new responsibilities to assume, it’s true. But above all, know how to enjoy the happiness that this news offers you.
It is essential to dare to look ahead to a few days, a few weeks, a few months and even a few years. Allowing yourself the time to idealize your fatherhood is a good foundation for the future. You have to envision yourself and settle into an ideal role, because reality will come soon enough with its share of joys and difficulties. Do not forbid yourself to paint the perfect picture of a dream fatherhood… It feels great!
Take your place in these moments of waiting and preparation
How many men stay away because they feel useless and not competent enough? It is true that women carry the child, but that does not make them experts in motherhood. Men and future fathers receive the news on the same day, so it is enough to look around and realize that the place of the father is as beautiful an adventure to build as that of the mother. It is different, it does not have the same temporality nor the same consequences on the body, but this place is yours!
Learning about the changes in the mother’s body, starting to shop, preparing a room or a place in your house for the baby’s bed, these are not only your partner’s actions. And if you are a couple composed of two dads, the time to exchange, to share your vision of fatherhood, and perhaps your doubts must be taken from the beginning.
Be yourself, and that will be good enough
Dad is not a trendy job, you don’t need to prepare a job interview or a pitch. You don’t need to work to know what is expected of you! You are unique, and you and only you will be the dad you want to be. Obviously, there are a lot of responsibilities to take on, but they fit so naturally into your adult life, and into the happiness that encompasses this whole adventure, that there’s no need to get anxious.
Don’t put yourself in competition with anyone, not your mom, not your dad or brothers, not your buddies who became dads before you.
There are books, magazines, blogs, so take the information that seems essential to you, build your legend, and defend your views and opinions on your fatherhood.
Break free from the pre-set rules. It will be the best version of yourself, for sure!
When the baby comes, take the lead and do the job!
A baby is simple. Even though situations can become difficult, never forget to look into his eyes and see him as a human being who needs you. It doesn’t get any harder than that. All the love you have is enough for him, and he knows it. And don’t feel guilty because the dirty diaper disgusts you or because you are sometimes so tired that the idea of leaving everything goes through you, it happens to everyone, even to moms.
Stay natural, learn as the baby learns, you graduated the same day! Everything has to be built. Your baby has much more patience and kindness than you could ever imagine.